Buried Deep
by Alidiabin
Summary: A case brings up a part of Tony's past he though he'd buried deep. Content may offened some people. It's pretty serious subject matter.


**Title: **Buried Deep**  
Fandom: **NCIS**  
Author: **Alidiabin**  
Words: **1,592**  
Disclaimer: **I own nothing**  
Warnings/ Spoilers: **general S7/8. Content is sensitive and will probably offend someone and is in no way meant to belittle survivors of a similar crime or insult the institution mentioned. **  
Parings:** Tony/Ziva**  
Summary: **the worst kind of kid case especially for Tony DiNozzo as it brings up some secrets buried deep with in his soul.

_**Buried Deep**_

It was the worse kind of child case the NCIS team had to deal with, not only had eight year old Oliver O'Brien, the son of petty officers been murdered in cold blood but Ducky had also found signs of sexual assault on the tiny body. The team worked night and day to get the guy who did it. It did not matter that they were in three day old clothes or that they ate cold left over take out for breakfast. They were going to catch the person who had taken much more from the little boy than his life.

Then the case brought a terrible surprise with it. Oliver O'Brien's priest was a man named Mathew Gwynne. Tony remembered him from a very long time ago, back when he actually attended church. He was Father Carl Lucas favourite alter boy. All evidence pointed to him.  
"I want to talk to Anthony" Gwynne said from the interrogation room. Tony watched the blue eyed blonde man. Gibbs walked in behind him.  
"You ok with this DiNozzo" Gibbs asked. Tony offered his fake smile.  
"I'm a-ok boss" he lied in a sarcastic tone.

_The big wooden door with the iron handle was open. Father Lucas stood in the doorway. Tony looked up at the tall bald man. _

Tony took a deep breath it had been over thirty years since it had happened and nearly thirty years since a flashback, why was his mind betraying him now he wondered.

He faced Gwynne.  
"Nobody calls my Anthony anymore" Tony uttered. "And its Agent DiNozzo to you, Mattie" Tony said adding Gwynne's childhood nickname for emphasis.  
"I thought we were friends" Gwynne uttered.  
"So did I" Tony uttered. "Things kinda changed" Tony uttered bitterly.

"_Come on Anthony, follow me" Gwynne said as they walked through the church. "Father Lucas want's to see you" eight year old Tony followed the nine year old._

"Maybe this is fate" Gwynne said. Tony scoffed.  
"Yeah maybe it is fate" Tony uttered. "That I get to arrest you" Gwynne laughed.  
"For what Anthony" Gwynne replied. Tony felt himself get angry.  
"Don't play dumb Gwynne" Tony replied. Gwynne remained silent. Red hot burning anger paced through Tony at a thousand miles an hour. "You sexually assaulted Oliver O'Brien just like what Father Lucas did" there was a pause as Tony had to physically force the words from his throat. "to us. Just like what Father Lucas did to us"

"_Anthony" the fifty year old man said as he fiddled with his black shirt. He tapped the desk. Lucas looked at Gwynne. "Mathew shut the door." The wooden door shut. _

"I don't know what your talking about" Gwynne uttered.  
"Yes you do" Tony said. "You know you do Mattie" with one sentence the forty year old crumbled. Tony felt no pleasure in seeing the man break, he felt sympathetic to Gwynne but he was still appalled at what Gwynne had done to Oliver O'Brien.  
"I didn't mean to do it" Gwynne whispered. "I didn't mean too, he was going to tell. He couldn't tell." the man burst into tears and reverted to childlike behaviour. Tony stood up unable to sit near a man who had stolen so much from the little boy in autopsy.

He felt physically sick bile rose up his throat, he stumbled out of interrogation. Tears formed in his eyes. He found himself standing in the pumpkin walled hallway. He felt arms wrapped around him. Ziva's warm embrace. Her body spray intoxicated him. She offered no words of comfort, they were not needed. He buried his face in her woollen jumper. They stood still, safe with one another.

He did not remember how he ended up in his plain apartment. He remembered Gibbs gruff voice saying something and Ziva's olive skinned hands leading him to her car. He found himself sitting on his couch; tea was thrust into his hands. He held the warm cup, feeling the burn on his hands. Desperate to feel something. Ziva sat in front of him on the couch.  
"Thanks" he whispered as he put the still undrunk tea on the coffee table using an old GSM as a coaster. Ziva did not try and coax him into talking. She knew if he wanted to talk, he would but for now she was just there.  
"It was the only good thing about Mum dying" he uttered. Ziva smiled at his American accent using the British word for mother. "Dad was never very religious so I didn't ever have to step foot in that place ever again"  
"Does your father know?" Ziva asked, her hand intertwining with his.  
"What do you think?" Tony replied tempted to add: Does Eli know what Salim Ulman did to you? There was a pause as if Ziva had heard Tony's thought. "I told Mum" Ziva looked up.

"_Anthony" Rose Elizabeth Paddington DiNozzo sung as she shut the curtains of his large attic room. It was a good day Tony mused; the alcohol was not making her sad, they had spent the afternoon dancing to her old Beatles records.  
"I don't want to be called Anthony anymore" Tony said sitting up in his magnum styled red fireri bed, Rose turned and looked at her eight year old son with an amused smile on her forty year old features.  
"Why?" Rose asked her British accent slipping through the faux American one she had perfected when she was an actor long before Tony was born. "It's your name and I gave it to you Anthony Dominic DiNozzo"  
"Father Lucas calls me that" Tony said. Rose slid into bed next to her son, Tony looked at her flowing mousy blonde hair.  
"As he should it's your name" Rose replied. Tony looked down, sadness clouded his face. "Darling, did Father Lucas do something to you. Did he upset you?" Tony gulped and nodded. Tears fell down his face. "What?" Rose said bitting her lip and trying to hide her own tears.  
"He said I can't tell" Tony uttered fear pulsing through him.  
"It's all right darling, you can tell me. I'm your mummy you can tell me anything" Rose said putting her hands with Tony's. Tony looked at her. "Please darling, tell Mummy"  
"Whisper" Tony said softly. Rose put her ear close to Tony's mouth. Her eyes grew wide with red hot anger,as he told her. Anger pulsed through her. Vomit rose up through her mouth.  
"Oh god" she whispered.  
"I'm sorry Mummy" Tony whispered. Rose shook her head.  
"No darling" Rose said. "You don't have to be sorry"  
"I'm sorry I'm crying" Tony said. "Dad says DiNozzos don't cry"  
"No" Rose said. "You can cry" Rose leaned down and kissed her son. She held him until he fell asleep. "It will be Father Lucas who is sorry" she whispered. _

_Tony woke up when he felt his mother get out of bed. He heard her rush down the stairs. The stairs in the DiNozzo house were old and steep and Tony had fallen down them many a time. Rose always walked slowly down them. She ran. Tony heard the running stop and a shriek. He got out of bed. He walked to the landing. His mother was halfway down the stairs, lying still; no words came from her mouth.  
"Mrs DiNozzo" Maria the maid said in her thick Latino accent. "Mrs DiNozzo" she repeated as she held Rose's limp body.  
"Mum" Tony called. "Mummy" he said as tears fell down his face. _

"Did you think that you had killed her?" Ziva asked as tears fell down her face at the thought of Tony's emotional anguish. Tony nodded.  
"The doctors at the hospital said she broke her neck, she was running to call the police or whatever" Tony paused. "If I hadn't of told her, she wouldn't have been running down the stairs"  
"It is not your fault" Ziva whispered, she leaned in close Tony was thankful for the comfort she brought. "Is" Ziva paused. "Was Father Lucas charged?"  
"One of the other kids he did it to got a gun and shot him" Tony said his voice neutral as he looked out at the shadows in his dark lounge room. "It was back when I was in college, the kid was fourteen he served three years and a judge sealed his records" he felt Ziva's hands touch his. "Are you goanna tell me it's all going to be ok?" Tony asked sarcastically, as he surveyed his messy lounge room deciding what he wanted to break.  
"No" Ziva said. "I am not going to lie to you" Ziva paused. "Do you remember what you told me after the Burrows case?"  
"Yeah" Tony said. "I said I'm here, If you want to talk you can talk I'm not pushing it" Ziva nodded.  
"I am going to say the same thing" Ziva replied as Tony looked at her again. Her eyes looked back at him he knew she was not lying.  
"It was over thirty years ago, Ziva" Tony said. "It's over, I don't need to" Ziva looked at him at look the melted his argument.  
"I am here Tony" Ziva said. "If and when you wish to talk" Tony nodded, maybe one day he would take her up on her offer but not tonight he thought. He pulled her close to him. She leaned her chocolate curls on his chest. They stayed close, breathing softly until sweet slumber took them both. A sweet slumber for the first night in many years was nightmare-free for both of them.

**A/N:** I repeat again, this is in no way meant to belittle or insult survivors of similar experience nor insult the Catholic Church as a whole. As my Muslim friend explained to me it's not a religion as a whole that's the problem it's the bad apples within the religion that gives all of the religion a bad name.

Reviews please.


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